Global warming leaving him cold

To the editor: 

Well, here it is the first week of March and we’re still hitting well below zero temperatures (like 20 below). The snow piles are mammoth; the wood pile is miniscule. The price of heating oil and propane gas is obscene. The days are getting longer, but tempers are getting shorter.

Not to worry though, my friends, these problems are trivial, and we should be ashamed to even mention them. I heard right from the mouth of our Secretary of State that global warming is the biggest and most immediate threat we face. Makes you kind of wonder where he’s from, doesn’t it? Oh to be in warm and fuzzy liberal la la land.

Oh well. I know you will find this hard to believe but even my mind goes adrift occasionally. Our local auto parts store has a birdcage. If you have an item to trade, you put it in the birdcage and the local radio station will announce it for several days.

After many days of cold weather and boredom setting in, I had the bright idea to ask  my wife to go shopping with me. When asked why, I told her I wanted to go to the auto parts store to see just how big that birdcage is. Some people sure react strangely to being asked to go to an auto parts store.

Hang in there, my friends; spring is not far away now. I know this because when I was standing out in the cold I saw my shadow. If a wood chuck in Pennsylvania can prognosticate, why can’t a partially Norwegian wing nut in Minnesota?

Stay warm and happy.

Tony Towle, Long Prairie